Thalamus Dredge

Thalamus Dredge is one of the most iconic killers. One of his most notable achievements is forging the masterwork known as MIALAMFSTHEMOVIE (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igH3zI4sm0U). Killers across the land (mainly just Ephraim that one time) tell so many tales of this man to the point where the line between truth and rumor is so blurry you couldn't get glasses strong enough to see straight if you had all the wealth of Super Investor Saiyan 3. Thalamus Dredge is your greatest ally and your deadliest foe. He's a stock market genius and a cryptography mastermind. If you fused Albert Einstein, Alexander the Great, Elon Musk and Aristotle, you might be able to approximate something in the range of being similar to a poor copy of Thalamus Dredge

Unfortunately, he is currently MIA and without his guiding hand the killers are dropping dangerously close to absolute culture death. If the killers cannot find their savior soon, they will have no chance at winning the next slimefest.

this is a joke article cause there was nothing else here