Astatine Heights

""A metaphorical line divides the upper class and the lower class here. The northerners in their expensive Astatine condos raise their kids with silver spoons in their hands to send them off to NLACU in their later years. On the other hand, down south is a spread of houses that have been depreciating in value for centuries. Instead of being made from rare Astatine, these houses are made from stone and brick. Far inferior substances live inside these materials and stunt the development of the kids who live in them. Most contract a special brand of autism by the age of 14, which makes them hyper creative workaholics. However they usually die a few years later from not taking care of themselves.""

- Niboe

Channel Description
A nice orderly neighrborhood populated by filthy yuppies. A great place to raise your kids.

!Look Message
Swanky modern condominiums jut out of the steep hills to the north, while to the south rows of picture-perfect suburban homes with disgustingly well-maintained lawns constrict around freshly-laid roads. Luxury boutiques and high-class restaurants compete for the wallets of privileged, rich yuppies.Astatine Heights is the home to many of the wealthiest men and women of the city, with many of the residents forcing their fratty Republican sons to the prestigious college N.L.A.C.U. in neighboring Gatlingsdale. The difference between Astatine Heights and other affluent districts of the city is that the majority of residents have not passed onto the elysian fields of retirement, and thus have at least a sliver of personality and ambition left in their community, however gentrified it might be.

Previous !look Message
Modern high-rise condos just from the steep hills to the north. To the south, classical stone and brick houses with columns command disgustingly decadent wide grassy yards.

Cinema
A delightfully run-down movie theater, with warm carpeted walls fraying ever so slightly. Films hand picked by the Rowdy Fucker and/or Cop Killer are regularly screened.

The only use I can derive from this place is that it is where Doopedy Shmoople watches Brokeback Mountain on loop. I pray for that lowly being.

In the beginning, the Cinema was a tab accessible to nearly everyone where Ben Saint or Munchy could post a video. Hardly anyone watched the videos and Ben stopped after two weeks. Later on, the Cinema became a location in Astatine Heights where you could post youtube videos and watch movies. When the new restaurants were introduced in Season 2, the devs accidentally overwrote it with the Red Mobster Seafood. Luckily, it was added back in after a patch.

Red Mobster Seafood
The last bastion of sophistication in this godforsaken city. A dimly lit, atmospheric fine dining restaurant with waiters and tables and archaic stuff like that. Upper crust juveniles and older fugitives make up the majority of the patrons, making you stick out like a sore thumb. Quiet, respectable murmurs pollute the air alongside the scrapping of silverware and the occasional hoity toity laugh. Everything about this place makes you sick.

85th Street
This street is full of upscale bars and fancy restaurants. It's one of the few places to actually have a night out on the town in Astatine Heights, so you'll see a lot of upper class snobs in their fancy dresses celebrating some dumb shit that just makes you want to shoot them, like cinco de mayo or kwanzaa.

Decaying Slums
This embarrassing blemish on the district's squeaky clean reputation is tucked away from the rest of Astatine Heights. The poor that call this ghetto their home usually make their rent mining in Toxington, which isn't exactly a safe or rewarding line of work. What little expendable income they accrue is spent on frivolous bullshit to make themselves feel less poor.

Mountain Condos
These condominiums are high up, in fact this neighborhood is so high up you can see most of Astatine Heights and surrounding districts from it. The places here are really swanky, and are mostly the bachelor pads of teenybopper robber barons shamelessly cosplaying Elon Musk.

Astatine Trail
A rugged asphalt bike path is all that separates this scenic nature walk from anywhere else in Cinder State Forest. You're just as likely to get mauled by bears or choke to death from the smoke of its iconic forest fires, but even so, the residents love this place for its "natural beauty" or whatever they call it. It's spawned a sort of aged-hippie type hiking subculture that makes you sick. You can often watch them die though, so there's that.

Gated Community
This neighborhood is surrounded by two sets of twenty meter high and ten meter wide walls, with watchtowers and barracks routinely posted around the parameter. It's patrolled all hours of the day, and solicitors are often piledrived by these guards well before they get anywhere close to breaching the walls.

Barbette Boulevard
This impressive cultural powerhouse of a street is home to a few movie studios and iconic theaters. It is perhaps most well known for the Walk of Maim, which is a half-mile long stretch of sidewalk with the chalk outline of various celebrities of the city. Lots of slime-based TV shows and direct-to-video movies are produced here.