New New Yonkers

""Hey hey hey my dogs! This biz is wiiiiild! This crib's got all the coolest hot-blooded artists makin' shit that defies typical genres, and maybe even the concept of a genre. These niggas don't do that fightin' shit all that much, but they're winnin' all the art contests and spamming in community service. Even I'm changin my attitudes just from feelin' this vibe.""

- Niboe

Channel Description
Hip up-and-coming neighborhood rapidly becoming more gentrified and less cool.

!Look Message
Nightclubs and trendy restaurants have popped up in slick, modern buildings while the same old, reliable brownstones host arcades, bowling alleys and other teenage favorites. Featuring probably the best nightlife in the city, New New Yonkers is a favorite hangout spot among the juveniles of the city and consequently has an alarming crime rate. Many of the older residents want to see these fun times come to an end however, seeking to emulate the gentrified suburbia of Old New Yonkers to the south. This is adamantly resisted by the rough-and-tumble youth, those who's to say if this district will remain the bastion of good times it is today.

New New Yonkers is the best district to hang out in on a weekend with your friends. Really, what else can a district aspire to?

!Previous Look Message
Trendy restaurants and clubs sit empty in this sparsely-populated failed gentrification experiment.

Slimey Persuits
It's a vintage style candy store, and on top of that an ice-cream parlour. Sugary delicacies line the displays, giving the whole place an inviting presence and sweet scent. One of the signs on the walls tells of their signature product, the Slime Sours. Apprently they're made almost entirely by hand, and a lot of the other products in the store seem to fit that bill as well. In a post-apocalyptic hellscape like NLACakaNM, it seems some traditions have still survived.

At Slimy Persuits, you can purchase a number of candies that change the stats of your Slimeoid.

Concrete Park
This urban park is a common gathering place for locals to come, hang out, watch street performances, and play games. Now, this is New New Yonkers, so there are a few quirks of the culture. For instance, even though there are a few basketball courts here, no one actually plays basketball (at least, using the official ruleset). Here, games like that are just an excuse to pick a fight with people so you can bash their skull in with a casus belli. It's pretty cool. Also, all of the buskers are fucking metal, doing insane tricks that extert their body to their absolute limit for the promise of some slime tips. Often, buskers just fucking die because they've encased themselves in metal or something for the crowd's sick enjoyment.

Broadway
This street has the best nightlife in the entire city. This shit is wild. There are a thousand different bars, almost all featuring bartenders operating without a license and making shit that send people to another plane of existence, there are all manner of arcades, escape rooms and other novelties to keep you entertained, and that's not even to mention all of the restaurants for you to go and gorge on more food and drinks. With all of the drunk people with adrenaline pumping through their veins and zero responsible thoughts through their brain, fights often break out and bubble over into all out gang wars. This place is like the Fall of Rome, all night, every night.

Ghetto Townhouses
This residential neighborhood is just about as rough-'n'-tumble as you can get. Half the windows are boarded up, graffiti's been sprayed over half the block, and every night some house party is thrown that requires loud as fuck music and drunk people jumping off roofs and strangling bystanders for fun. Hell yeah!!

Single Gentrified Street
This is the only normal, safe street in the district. So, it makes sense that it borders Old New Yonkers. There's not much to say, this place is really fucking boring. There's no gunshots ringing off in the distance, no graffiti on the sidewalks or fights breaking out. It just sucks.