S.L.A.N.D.E.R.

S.L.A.N.D.E.R. Discord https://discord.gg/ThgvNgR The S.L.A.N.D.E.R. (short for South Los Angeles NewsDog Enquirer Report) is the second (important) NLACakaNM newspaper to release. Debuting on October 21st, 2018, the S.L.A.N.D.E.R. became the Slime Times' main source of competition, mainly due to its dedication to the real facts that are totally real and don't you even say otherwise, buster.

Polls

 * In the first issue, the audience was polled to determine the father of Hale's child. The votes named Paradox Crocs.
 * In the second issue, the audience was to decide how to legally pursue Ephraim. The votes suggested Paradox Crocs should shoot him.
 * In the third issue, the audience was asked to explain where semen comes from. Results were split, but most votes came out for the weiner.

Bribe Leaderboards

 * 1) The Government: 13106 SlimeCoin, 78 billion pencil shavings, 7 dumpsters
 * 2) M@tthew: 60,000 Pencil Shavings
 * 3) Fat Yoshi: 2 Eyes from a Giant Koopa
 * 4) Omnitaneous: 500 SlimeCoin
 * 5) Paradox Crocs: 60 Lbs Questionable Dad Strength
 * 6) Pink Whale: 5 Pencil Shavings

Ownership
The S.L.A.N.D.E.R. was originally owned by Yum! Publications, a deal made through blackmail, seduction, and good old fashioned workplace procrastination. The details are long and boring and stupid. Even someone dumb enough to read a wiki page for fun would not care about them in the least. Once the S.L.A.N.D.E.R. had come into its own, the Slime Times quickly realized it actually had competition. Like the corporate slugs they are, they bought out the publication and transformed it into a left-wing Digibro-advocating mess. The new owners didn't even get the issue number correct. Everyone who once respected the S.L.A.N.D.E.R. abandoned it, lamenting the loss of the only accurate paper in the city. However, this all changed when the paper's lead writer, Aristotlepenguin, realized that people die when they are killed. He quickly applied this lesson to the real world, specifically toward the staff of the Slime Times. Several gun-downs and a thorough looting later, Aristotle had a hefty sum he used to start his own independent publication. That's where we are now.