Polonium Hill

""Oh my, polonium hill. What is this strange substance named polonium? The dirt here seems to be made entirely out of it. Feels muddy, and yet is as cold as snow. My feet sink halfway in with every step but they slide out with ease. I cans see mansions for miles but I'd rather live in a van than any of these shitstuffs. Maybe I'll just lay down here awhile, the polonium is very comfy. I suppose I should get a move on now, I feel very well rested.""

- Niboe

Channel Description
Residential neighborhood covered in low-quality, high-cost minimansions. The butt of many a NLACakaNM inside joke.

!Look Message
The gently rolling astroturf hills are sprinkled with hideous mansions that obviously cost a fortune but look like complete shit. This whole district feels like it tries way to hard to come across as high-society, when it's really just some residential district on the far-flung edges of the city.

Polonium Hills residents really want you to think they're rich.

Previous !Look Message
The gently rolling terrain is speckled with hideous minimansions that obviously cost a fortune and look like complete shit.

Wholesale Warehouse
This huge warehouse is packed to the brim with wide varieties of products, including groceries, liquor, pharmaceuticals, appliances, furniture, and more, all sold in bulk and laid out in a no-frills kinda way. It's so fucking big, you don't even know. It's basically mandatory to have a subscription membership to this place if you\u2019re a Polonium Hill local, even though it's pretty easy to sneak in. You guess the sort of people that live in Polonium Hill would instantly die upon being caught doing anything against the rules, ever, so it makes sense. Moms and their screaming, snot-nosed children dash around you with shopping carts full of extremely unhealthy yet delicious breakfast cereals and red meats. This place is sort of like hell.

Curie Highschool
You're standing in the dried-out parking lot of a limp-wristed, bog standard high school. Curie High really tries its best to seem habitable, but that actually pretty low standard leaves the students here tired, disenfranchised, and ready to waterslide right down the school-to-prison pipeline. How about we whip out our spray cans and rifles and show these up and comers how it's done?

Geller Point
You stand at the top of a grassy, starry hill that overlooks the endless desert to the west. Geller Point is a nice place to relax, but as usual, you can expect the locals of Polonium Hill to ruin everything. They all insist to death that aliens and paranormal activity flock here to observe their boring community and probe their depressing little middle-class buttholes. You've never seen any yourself, but their words always put you a little on edge. If you squint your eyes just right, you think you can see Area 51 in the distance. Nah, that can't be right.

Sawdust Lumberyard
This isn't a particularly big forest, but it\u2019s big enough to have attracted young, upstart entrepreneurs looking to make some money destroying the environment. And so, this humble lumberyard was founded. This is where most of the log cabins being built in Maimridge, and some of the gaudy lookalikes in this district, get their wood. Extra flammable planks are sent to Arsonbrook in large droves throughout the year, but they don't know they're extra flammable. The privateering vessels being built in the Vagrant's Corner shipyard also make use of materials from here. It's a pretty big deal, alright?

Sort Of Mansions
This somewhat small community is full of sparsely laid out homes, covered from the lawn to the roof in decorations that look more tacky than opulent. They aren't really mansions, they're just kinda big. The inhabitants will swear up and down, however, that they are mansions and that they are in fact very wealthy and then beg you to tell them they're successful and that if their father were still alive, god rest his soul, he would forgive them. They'll also come out and beg for you to not spray paint their house and/or rob them blind, so they have a habit of issuing unreasonable demands. What a bunch of losers, amirght?

Cool Shit To Know
A brief historical overview and current state summary from the Slime Times' “An excerpt about Polonium Hills”

polonium hills the terrain you’d think would be impossible to build on but they did it. another slime brick upon slime brick in the wall lines the yellow salted poisionous soil and smogged streets of polonium hills a few dive bars with solem bands playing a melancholy tune or two and a few dead souls roam the streets in place of our would be heros a killers playground indeed for nothing speaks to the soul of a killer than a dead end wasteland of old house broken bricks and forgotten crimelords marks on the greasy streets wish i could’ve said i wish you were here but those days are over the old glamour of these streets have seen their halflife 3 times over yet it seems that once again with the revitalisation of endless war polonium hills seems to have had a blast furnace reaction to the new economy. it seems that killer buisness is booming and their deals have moved into the old streets of polonium hills giving it a new glow unseen in crimetime past years like that of shlubsymalone and his slimey wine gang in times of slime probation. its become a real killer hubub HQ where they give each other viynl records and comment on how the pollution is so thick that all you can see is the pavement red bricks yellow salt and a deep black void like their hearts. at least thats what they say but needless to say if you like yellow salt old run down bricks and being a killer hipster this is your town. “

Credits
The Slime Times writer Neo Gaylord Nelson https://ew.krakissi.net/news/?s=1541528629