Damage Abacus

"The more things change, the more they stay the same. When the stone age warriors of NLACakaNM's first civilization developed their fighting technique, they needed to know how their slime would affect their chances. This would let them calculate those totals on the fly. More often than not, though, the practice they put into their abacus finagling came out of their other training, and they would consequently get fucked on the battlefield far more often. When we received this one, it was in suspiciously perfect condition for something over 2000 years old. We suspect it was refurbished after discovery."

This anomalous counting device was found inside a safe in Limecorp. It was had a curious combination lock that required solving a calculus puzzle, but after a few hours while guarded by Ungen, Farafrog managed to crack it. The safe was apparently intended for N3 from Sherman, but she was never able to unlock it.

Usage: !using the abacus results in futile attempts to make sense out of this stupid thing. Eventually, your gangster brain decides to attempt to use it to calculate your damage, but fails regardless.