Brawlden

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Brawlden
Location of Brawlden in NLACakaNM

Aliases:
  • brawlden
  • den
  • bd
Property Class: C
Sub-Areas:
Streets:
Nearby:



"There are beefy bodyguards and mechanics everywhere here. Their testosterone smells so strongly. That testosterone shows itself in the constant brawls these men have. Even the scrawny scientists wrestle and box each other on a regular basis, although they look much stupider when they do. This is late-stage capitalism in it's truest form. Slimecorp owns this entire area, everyone here works for Slimecorp. The bourgeoisie CEOs and investors drive around in their limos and make back lot deals in the night, when things are surprisingly uneventful for such a developed city."
— Niboe

Channel Description

Sleepy little burrough in northern NLACakaNM. Site of the Slimecorp Slimeoid Laboratories.

!Look Message

Sturdy red brick apartments rise above the hard-knock streets. Gruff mechanics, plummers, and other workers of dirty jobs like to make their homes here, away from the pissy baby fucker fapper bullshit of the juvenile-populated inner districts. You can see them roaming the streets in their stained wife beaters, popping open the hoods of their cars and grunting dad noises. Sometimes they cross paths with one another and immediately upon locked eyesight engage in brutal fist fights. No one really knows why.

Brawlden, despite being a largely rumble-and-tough inhabited primarily by dads is inexplicability the home of a high-tech laboratory run by SlimeCorp. Deep underground in an unassuming corner of this district lays a not-so-secret top secret laboratory dedicated to the study of Slimeoids. What are Slimeoids? You’ll just have to find out, buddy.

Previous !look Message

Rough-looking bewifebeatered citizens are everywhere, doing unspecified maintenence on strange machines propped up on cinderblocks. A SlimeCorp Laboratory hums and whirrs in the distance, day and night.

Subzones

Slimeoid Laboratory

A nondescript building containing mysterious industrial equipment Slimecorp left behind. Large glass tubes and metallic vats seem to be designed to serve as incubators. There is a notice from the university on the entrance-way explaining the use of its equipment. Use !instructions to read it.

Past countless receptionists' desks, Slimeoid incubation tubes, legal waivers, and down at least one or two secured elevator shafts, lay several mutation test chambers. All that wait for you in these secluded rooms is a reclined medical chair with an attached IV bag and the blinding light of a futuristic neon LED display which has a hundred different PowerShell windows open that are all running Discord bots. If you choose to tinker with mutations, an employee will take you to one of these rooms and inform you of the vast and varied ways they can legally fuck with your body's chemistry.

Streets

Abandoned Warehouse

This place used to be a combination slaughterhouse and packaging facility, but the company that operated it went bankrupt a few years ago. Now, it's the site of the district's fight club. Locals show up every Friday to beat the shit out of each other. Bets are usually taken on who will be the last man standing by those too cowardly to fight themselves. If you're a local of Brawlden and you haven't fought in one of these fight clubs before, well, you're not a real local.

Brownstone Row

This row of brownstone three-decker townhouses isn't particularly special or noteworthy in any regards.

Brawlden Private School

The buff dads in Brawlden don't always get the manliest sons. For those who got twinks, they get sent to Brawlden Prep School for the Physically Unfit to get jacked and follow in their father's footsteps. And as you can imagine, once the slime came, the school's already impossible standards of discipline grew into something psychopathic. The motto carved above the stone building's entrance used to read "Anything that doesn't kill you makes you stronger.". Now, it's "The Zenkai boost is real and we're going to kill you until you can bench 450.".

Used Car Dealership

This place is fucking huge. There's terrible, barely functioning used cars for as far as the eye can see. Salesmen know better than to annoy a gangster with their prattle, but they do still sneak up on you every once and try to weasel their way into a sale. Just blast one of their limbs off and they'll leave you along again.

Gallery